TNR Happenings, April 22, 2024
The Grief Retreat Is On May 17th & 18th
Never before at a TNR training have we addressed this contrarian concept and how this invisible factor goes unnoticed in our society. Society dictates we don’t talk about it, suffer in isolation and endure, accommodate, and twist in the wind: just hope it solves itself and goes away. Not only does this make growth difficult, but it also drains our spirit, reducing meaning and purpose in our lives. Most people don’t have the foggiest notion of the role grief, sorrow, trauma, and loss play in our lives. The two prevailing strategies are to become a grinder, working hour after hour to make ends meet or alternately to accept your life as ‘this is all there is’ with no hope (resignation) of ever welcoming more joy, exponential economics, and, yes, increased health. For members who see more than simple, musculoskeletal, symptomatic care, you will find unresolved grief in every DCME/Level 2 case. When was the last time you went on a mysterious adventure for yourself? No permission is to be granted; this is a unilateral executive decision. Having Kenny Smoker speak to us in intimate, small groups is priceless. The rituals we will address, a sweat lodge ceremony, and a few surprises will take your breath away.
The Uncommon Wisdom of Kenny Smoker
If you are truly serious about becoming a humanitarian and being ultra-successful, listen to a man who grew up without running water or electricity. How would you hold up without the most taken-for-granted amenities? Listening to Kenny’s teachings reminds us that what is left is the most essential if you strip away anyone’s title, rank, and money. Their values, their connection with others, and how they treat and respond to the next generation (children) need to be heard by all members, with or without children. How could such a man emerge from a POW camp known as a Reservation? Of necessity, there had to be a divine hand in it. He speaks of deep, core concepts that touch all of us. It would be a much better place if the world had more ‘red’ in it. With all of the insolvable problems, especially with ecology/pollution, his message is once-in-a-lifetime. In a way, Kenny’s gesture gives us valuable insight into our lives to make them more meaningful and purposeful. I hope you understand that you will not find another man like Kenny Smoker at social clubs, places of worship, on the internet, or by chance. Kenny Smoker has been side-by-side with us for 20 years.
From the Mind of Miyagi
What is the invisible price of coddling? We don’t know what we are doing energetically when we feel sorry for people. We are accepting the mandates of the society that we live in. Limitations and concepts are manmade and are not the truth, regardless of how familiar they are or your opinion of them. They serve the agenda of the prevailing society. Think covid here. You are adding your energy into thinking that a creator creates masterpieces and pieces of junk. You hear people talk about being born under a bad sign or star. It’s an excuse never to solve the issues at hand. Feeling sorry for someone makes you feel better about yourself. It comes from self-hate and is invisible to the average person. We make deals and bargains in our offices or negotiate with practice members who deserve our sympathy. At home, when we start overdoing things for our children, they won’t develop their innate abilities. We just killed their Reward Cascade System.
They wind up neutered and must siphon from others. It’s not just with finances; it’s with life itself. A co-dependency is formed and is almost impossible to dissolve. Bailing out kids becomes a lifetime pursuit. It feels like love getting bailed out once again. It’s anything but. It’s a protest of growing up, maturity, and initiation. Instead of self-trust, they become subservient to others to help them. The co-dependency is not just between a parent and child; how about the government keeping people dependent through generational welfare? How about the age-old inequality of females that needs to be taken care of? Or, “ I’ll have to ask for permission from my spouse”? Of particular note in TNR, the female usually out earns her spouse by multiples, even with wearing many other hats (kids, running a house, groceries, etc.)
Overcoming any obstacle in life involves an acclimation period that will include hardship or suffering, and gratification will be withheld. It’s cruelty hiding this from people who need to step up. By supplying the factor that will alleviate the crying, whining, or hardship temporarily, there will be effects in the future that will have dire consequences. The emotional toughness is severely lacking in many today. This shows up in DCMEs when the 4 D’s barge into your life (death, divorce, disease, depression), in relationships, parenting, quitting, etc. Today, quitting is disguised as being sensitive, eliminating problems by making them disappear, talking about them (not solutions), not wanting to be successful, etc. Parents will go to extremes, including gender mutilation, shock therapy to their kid’s brain, permanent drug therapy for depression, anxiety, social and emotional impairment, etc. In our culture, special is another word for not overcoming adversity. When you come right down to it, much of what is on the internet is not legitimate or authentic suffering; instead, it’s not feeling unique enough, or it’s isolating from the world with your only connection through the observational internet. Observing life is not living life boldly. Someone somewhere made it suitable for them not to fight to reclaim their life.
Some people get stopped when a pebble impedes their path, and others don’t get stopped by a boulder. How can this be so? Coddling passes the buck. Instead of resolving the problem early in life, the teacher passes the kid even though the kid didn’t pass. She doesn’t want him in the class for another year. Someone else will now be involved in cleaning up yet another mess. An example may be an apartment owner who will get stiffed by a coddled kid who never faced the consequences. How about if you marry someone who was coddled? Then you become the coddler, replacing the parent, teacher, etc. Will your kids be welcomed into the world of things being made more accessible and more convenient at all costs, with you not allowing your kids to suffer an ounce of frustration? If this escalates, the police could be involved. Drugs and violence are not far behind. Welcome to my world of Miracle Training.
As doctors and healers, if you have economic problems or refuse to live life to its fullest, chances are someone dampened your boldness by doing it for you. This shortcut will not go away, and you will face it later. You don’t recognize it for what it is. There is an immaturity or infantilization that stunts emotional maturity. Being firm, encouraging, and allowing people to blossom into trustworthy, responsible adults is a world apart from cruelty.
DCME Confidential
See the above article!
Marley
