TNR Happenings, May 6, 2024

We have all heard of AOR (Acute Onset Retardation), but it’s really difficult to spot it in ourselves. At our trainings, it’s easy when you listen to me say, “Don’t do it!” Hearing about the landmines and pitfalls that others choose to step in is almost humorous. It’s so easy to spot in others but not so easy with ourselves. What’s the big deal with AOR anyway? You will find yourself imprisoned and bound in shackles, like being taken hostage. This is a meme in the world of the ordinary. You can be taken hostage by almost anybody: spouses, kids, friends, family, regulatory boards, etc. Like I’m fond of saying, your assassins are always closer to you than your enemies.

Looking closer at hostage situations, we see it’s never about what it’s about. Your brain doesn’t function when you are in AOR and no amount of reason, ‘don’t do it’, financial disaster, or common sense can bring you back. It’s not the tip of the iceberg; it’s what’s underneath the water that you can’t see. What you see in the physical is an adaptation for what you can’t see. It’s like a ghost takes you over, and you will defend your actions to death.

The feeling of being held hostage is the same for all. Resentment, anger, and rage all boil just below the surface (sometimes on the surface as well!) You know and feel this, but you dug yourself into a hole. Your back is against the wall, so you will rationalize and make up lies to defend your foolish decision to be held hostage. I have seen members throw away their careers, licenses, marriages, and kids while protecting the right to be held hostage. This is especially true when it comes to the meme known as family. Editor's note: If you come for ONE concept at the Grief Retreat, it would be the meme of family above all else in the section. It’s simply not true. We see the hostage game with certain practice members that are ‘heavy’ and exact favors, negotiate, ask rhetorical questions, compare your office to internet silliness, research, and commentary, want more time spent with them, send texts and emails, and always asking more from you while giving less. My daughter, Dr. Christy, tells negotiating practice members, “I look good in any color other than orange,” a reference to orange jumpsuits.

How about insurance companies or regulatory boards? Our north-of-the-border brothers and sisters are saddled with ridiculous laws that restrict their scope of practice to musculoskeletal issues and anything neurological being considered illegal. They are on thin ice with a complex case, especially if it involves a child. How can this be? How can there be an age level to health? Adults deserve to be healthy, and what, we wait for kids to become sick like adults? A physical therapist who is four years out of high school can work on strokes, brain injury, neurological impairment, etc., and a 9-year university-trained DC is outlawed from doing the same. On top of that, they have no choice about paying tax money or bribes in the form of membership if they want to practice. Sounds like coercion and deception. It’s so easy not only to pay the blood money, but to go along with the charade while lying to practice members about the scope of your abilities. “The government or the insurance company (asking for permission) won’t let me help you.”  Every time you say this, something deep inside of you dies. Your spirit groans with domestication. You lose your aliveness and boldness and you allow others to hold you hostage. What is the depth of your connection to people? Is it an income to be earned or a sacred relationship?    

DCME Confidential