TNR Happenings, April 28, 2025
Grief Retreat Is On May 16th & 17th
Sometimes it takes a unilateral executive decision to get untangled from being over-scheduled. Have your needs gotten pushed aside as you perform your expected duties? Is the smile on your face, but not in your eyes? May 16th and 17th are about your needs; your family can fend for themselves. You won’t go to hell, and you won’t lose your family. Only good things can happen when you attune to your own needs. My mother used to call it a unilateral executive decision. This occurs only a few times a year, exercising a muscle in you that tends to become atrophied and dormant. The soft-spoken wisdom of Kenny awaits you. He is like a captain on a small boat, making you feel safe, welcomed, recognized, and understood. Last year's overall vibe was: How could he know so much about me? He has a unique ability to see through the masks of the false self. No matter what a person presents, he sees through to their core. Call TNR headquarters today to reserve your spot!
Love Has No Color Update
The official Love Has No Color fundraising letter will be issued next week. A few enterprising members have already started raising donations and recruiting volunteers to journey to the Reservation with us. Everyone is asked to step up as we land in Billings, Montana, this year. We need donations and volunteers. If you have been with us for 16 years or are brand new, you know the kind of person we seek. Would you want them in your car? Do they travel well, are they light in character, will they pitch in wherever they can, will they add to the group? We don’t need people who will cause distractions or are always complaining. People who can fix things and are good with tools are always a plus. The adventure starts now.
From the Mind of Miyagi
Do you suffer from people-pleasing anxiety? Are you acutely aware of the expectations of your people, and do you place them before the reality of the circumstances? Why do we, as professionals, bear the brunt of unrealistic expectations when people want the disease, pain, or situation to disappear today? A personal trainer with a client who wants to lose 50 pounds right now knows deep in his bones that it is impossible. But when it comes to your office, something altogether different unfolds. Do you feel sorry for anybody suffering, and pretend to do the exercises for them instead of allowing them to do their part?
I want to ‘just make this go away’ is a childlike plea that makes clinical results impossible because the person refuses to understand the gravity of the situation. They want you to rescue them with a magic wand. People who will give you their best and are willing to do their part, make being in service to people the most rewarding thing you can do. Two people sharing a common goal and purpose, and achieving it against all odds, is why most of us find ourselves where we are.
You'll need to do your part to attract quality new patients to your office constantly, but please remember that by doing more inner work on yourself, the quality of your patients will increase. If you model yourself after the ‘doc in a box’, profit before people salesmanship, the quality of your people will never change. Before you focus all of your time on the task at hand (symptoms), do your best to create a relationship of trust. For example, if the focus of an intimate relationship is on sex, the relationship will tend to be short-term. If you create the underlying relationship of trust, not only will you get great clinical results, but there will be reciprocity. Referrals happen when their needs are exceeded or surpassed, not met.
The person’s opinion of what you should do, how long it should take, or how much it should cost has nothing to do with you. They get to choose to participate or not, but they don’t get a vote on the curriculum. Keep this in mind. Any parents out there with teenagers know you will get the emotional feedback of disappointing them. The look in their faces is unforgettable. You let them down by not meeting their unrealistic expectations. You must stay centered and grounded and not cave. How many times have you caved, and it ruined the relationship? Once they have you on the run, they will never be satisfied. Do you think this sounds familiar to anyone?
Take people-pleasing out of the equation. Treat people with dignity and respect. Don’t take shortcuts, and don’t feel sorry for people who have commitment issues.
Miracle Training
There is a surprising resemblance between severe illnesses and intimate relationships. You will not see the similarity with a crick in someone’s back, but with DCME, Level 2 or above, it will be foisted in your grill! When you need to push someone beyond their comfort zone they will revert to some form of AOR (Acute Onset Retardation). The examples are as infinite as are the excuses if you let them get away with it. How about this one: you say Don’t Do It and they do it anyway, or you say Do It and they don’t. You are probably saying to yourself, “I’ve seen this before in my intimate relationships.”
If they don’t trust you, they will revert to subconscious behavior they reserve for intimate partners. It includes all the customary forms of deceit and lying. Did you do your 21-Day DCME Video Program? “Oh, I didn’t receive it. Can you have them send it again?” It is hard to say your dog peed on your homework when it’s on your computer. When I was a kid and knew I would be late getting home, I turned my watch back and tried to convince my mother that my watch had stopped. She had me take off my watch and put it to her ear. She heard it ticking, and the watch was taken from me for a month for lying. The hard lesson was to stop lying or use better lies. There is always the choice; most people opt for more grown-up, sophisticated ways of obscuring truth: victimhood, blaming, complaining, becoming a chameleon, etc.
When people trust you, they form a sacred alliance, a confederacy of us against the world, and they will give you everything they have. They save the AOR, deceit, and troubling behavior for someone else they don’t trust or take for granted. The hygienist asks anyone visiting the dentist the same question: Have you been flossing and brushing regularly? Most lie and say yes. For many, the truth is that you brush, but you don’t floss. They can see this, yet they accept the lie and pretend (for the money to keep flowing) that you are telling the truth. With complicated life and death cases, you can’t accept the lie. It can cost the person their life.
If you are brutally honest with yourself, you don’t have this relationship of trust with non-high-level cases. They come to you with simple cases to be fixed with little or no input or participation from them. The insurance covers it, and they lay on your table, keeping you at arm’s length. They talk to you in the socially approved, superficial dialect and act enthusiastic until their symptom have lessened. They don’t have to reveal their dirty little secrets, they get to act innocent, and they pretend to like you until their minor problem is resolved.
Even after Miracle Training clients graduate, most are in an eternal relationship. I remain in a category of one with them because there is nobody to compare me with. I may not see them for years, but the relationship doesn’t have to be coaxed, warmed up, etc. It’s the same as it was.
DCME Confidential
Question 1: I have 2 DCMEs that I want to invite to this year’s Fun Day/Boot Camp. I am a bit concerned because they are both in their 20s and immature. I don’t know if they will act up, and I don’t want to contaminate my experience babysitting them.
Answer: No babysitting is needed. The collective consciousness of the group comes in handy here. We are there to work, work, work. Even though we work, it is still so much fun, and they will be fine.
Question 2: My 42-year-old DCME person pretends that everything I share with her is over her head. She slows everything down and takes three times as much time on everything. How can I speed her up?
Answer: Everyone has a comprehension rate. Remember that this is part of her adaptation to the world. Everyone has heard of my Miracle Training clients and the IQ gains, reading ability gains, keeping people out of asylums, etc. She should change as a result of your care. Please don’t be shy about having her re-up a time or two more.
Marley
