TNR Happenings, October 28, 2024

Have you ever noticed how unprepared people, in general, are to adapt when things go sideways? If you use GPS to arrive at 521 Walpole St, Norwood, MA 02062, it puts you next door to the apartment complex, Old Derby Village. I have witnessed Uber after Lyft drivers struggle many times when they are marooned in the Old Derby Village complex. They can drive and use electronic directions but don’t know the terrain or people. They are like Karaoke cab drivers from the past, without the local flair and chatter. The best they can do (which you can do) is to look something up on Google. This is a substitute or imitation in the world of the ordinary, which passes for good enough in today’s world.

 

Are you prepared, or are you simply coasting? Is your preparation 10, 20, or 30 years old? Wow, Dr. Kevin, it’s only Monday! When someone comes in with something more profound in complexity, do you refer out, agree with the person that the recommendations are too steep, especially if they are not covered by insurance, or give it the old college try? It all depends on what’s under your hood. What are your intrinsic motivations? Do you want to pay bills, get by, make a living, or truly make a difference? What mask are you hiding beneath?  Most in the healing professions keep doing the same thing over and over. You can make fun of a teacher using the same class plan year after year, and if you’re brutally honest with yourself, there is a kernel of truth to it in yourself.

 

In professional sports, it’s not enough to reach the show (NHL, NFL, etc); you have to find a way to keep your place or get replaced. There are always younger, more talented, faster, and stronger athletes coming up behind you. This is the Karyoke part in the world of ordinary that allows under-skilled doctors to rest on their laurels, and it’s an individual choice of doctors to develop their skills further. License credit renewal does not count; it’s a parody. Your best is never required. It won’t bother anybody until it directly affects you. Have you been privy to the treatment of older people, like your parents/grandparents? If you are a once-in-a-lifetime doctor, old and young are all welcome and will receive results, not excuses.

 

My wife and I dined out, and my wife was excited about a lobster dish. She even pointed to it on the menu, and the overstressed, incompetent waitress nodded and proceeded to bring her the wrong meal. The waitress even lied and said the dish she brought had lobster in it (it didn’t), and it was the one my wife ordered. Nobody died, and nobody was hurt, I get it. This is a metaphor in the fabric of our life: average is good enough. All sales and no service unless you count on having English-disabled people from foreign countries attempting to fix your computer or TV. Are we speaking of marriage, doctoring, parenting, government, politics, etc? Ideas leave not their source. Meaning it's in the DNA of our culture. Half-assed efforts across the board have eclipsed expertise, credibility, and capability.

 

Look into the eyes of the next person in real trouble in your office. Do they have a distant look of panic and despair? They are desperately seeking somebody who will understand, recognize, and acknowledge the gravity of their situation instead of someone who does not care if they get better. If you have developed the ability to move people’s molecules, a tuning fork deep inside them starts vibrating. Hope is restored, and you have an ally in healing instead of an adversary who wants you to rescue them and does not see their part in the healing process.  

 

No matter where you find yourself in practice, serving people is a privilege and honor. Be the best you can be, and let others be as they are.

 

Miracle Training

Forming a relationship is crucial when a patient has a severe illness, especially an illness that you can’t touch (invisible disease). If this relationship is not formed, the odds of healing plummet. Those attending Miyagi will see a video of a dog that won’t eat and has given up, and the first thing amateurs will insist on doing is lavish praise for the dog. No, no, no. You must gradually move the dog from this state of hopelessness. Giving praise out of sequence gives the wrong message. The dog/person must rediscover their purpose, the driving force in their lives. Affection and love won’t do it alone. It is hard not to want to be a friend instead of a leader in these circumstances. Friends accept unwanted circumstances, and leaders don’t. The secret is the dog/person is the only one that can make this move toward you. You can’t do it for them. Until this movement of engagement with you (sacred relationship) is created, you are simply doing things to a person (rescuing them) and leaving out their part/responsibility. DCMEs are a whole lot more than academic, linear knowledge. The solutions you are seeking do not lie in the physical dimension. You can believe this, recognize it or not, and it is still true.