TNR Happenings, September 16, 2024
The Tao of TNR
Everything in life is relational: relation to the environment, people, your body, family, spouses, and practice members. Most of us were parentally or socially conditioned to feel inadequate or unworthy. Even though it’s not true, you believe it to be, and your life follows the iron-fisted mandates. You were secretly and innocently trained to be a saboteur of yourself, like having a clenched fist that can’t be opened. You don’t feel safe regardless of what comes out of your mouth. What if you didn’t know this or chose to ignore this? Society almost makes it illegal (think covid here) to be deep instead of superficial: zone out into a trance of analytical, I’m not connected to you, I am superior to you, diagnostic, and produce little or no results and people will still line up to receive this type of care. In attendance was a young female who had survived 22 operations and another MT graduate who had been to 26 different doctors. It’s invisible to people who live in the world of the ordinary. What if you couldn’t communicate the truth? What if people don’t recognize health when all they have ever been trained to do is recognize, classify, and congratulate you when you have disease? It’s called an impasse, a stalemate, standoff, and this happens every day of your life. Will you compromise once again or learn to blend? Fighting against, using logic, making arguments, being hostile, hiding behind insurance coverage or government welfare, and being arrogant all resist the relationship from being made. This is your life, including your office, marriage, parenting, EVERYTHING!
The Tao of TNR seminar was completely about finding “the way” to truth and ending the resistance. We do so much to stop our own growth and fight the people we want to help. Thank you, Dr. Kevin, for opening my eyes and helping me get unstuck.
Dr. Kevin has a way to speak right to the heart of the issue. I am forever thankful for his ability to RE FRAME and RE CONTEXULIZE the situations, problems, and issues I am dealing with. He illuminates a new path and invites all who are willing to follow. Bringing the struggle to light and offering a solution.
The Tao of TNR challenges us to let go of old perceptions, beliefs, thoughts, and actions for the possibility of something greater out in the unknown. Too many times we get stuck in ruts that repeat again and again invisibly. Going into the dark, the unknown is where growth is and everything you want in life and where you want to be. Thank you for giving the opportunity to see into our self to be able to see our gifts and what we are truly capable of. Being courageous and living our life with authenticity is the hardest/easiest action to take in our lives and it will move us closer to the truth of who we really are, to our more authentic self. It is not to be missed.
Thank you for this training. It hit home in so many areas that we need to work on removing the blocks and lies we tell ourselves to survive in this society. Being illuminated on where and what we cling to and clench on to, shows where we are limiting ourselves from the opportunity of rewards and staying in the crumbs. Showing where we need to continue to be willing to go beyond and see what’s really happening. Continue to work to not escape, not clench, not wall off, to allow my life to unfold the way it’s meant to be rather than fighting to stay where we think we should be or not be.
Love Has No Color
The dates for Christmas on the Reservation will be released very soon. The thing that you can do right now is gather up donations, so don’t wait. Don’t be shy or embarrassed if people seem less than open to helping kids living in third-world conditions. In a socially conditioned mind, the average person thinks the $50 they donated last year should have fixed the problem, and asking for more money triggers inadequacy, shame, guilt, and unworthiness. This is so untrue, bordering on lunacy, yet that is what happens.
From the Mind of Miyagi
What happens when someone disagrees with you? It could be a practice member, a spouse, a friend, etc. Do you pout, need to be right, feel sorry for yourself, compromise, get violent, look the other way, attempt to show them research, read a book, etc.? A word to the wise: people will do just about anything to protect and defend against change. Even if it’s obvious that it’s not serving them, they will still hang on to it. A clenched fist comes to mind. By not opening it, you hold on to the very conditions that keep the unwanted in place.
How can you be offended when a person socially conditioned to be taken care of comes in demanding to be cured? They don’t know what they are talking about, yet you believe them. When they take no responsibility for their part in the unwanted circumstances, they want you to make this all go away. They morph into adolescents or infants and are looking for some parental figure, an authority, the government, an insurance company, or an expert to play that role. Like a personal trainer’s client who wants the trainer to do the work for them, it simply can’t be done. So many people will go to the ends of the earth to be babysat, find magic treatments and experimental treatments, anything that money can buy. There are no simple solutions to complex problems.
Just take this magic pill, have this operation, or get this amputation, and your health will magically appear. You don’t have any responsibility. Let us take care of you and create a dependency. Get another job that won’t demand as much from you. How about working from home on an electronic binky in your yoga outfit? You look at an aging dog, friend, or parent as if they have somehow disappointed you by aging. We resist life as it naturally unfolds. We fight against it, and this resistance we create is completely invisible to us. Resisting things as they are continues to deliver suffering in its many forms and shapes.
Are you secretly resigning yourself to things in your life that you don’t like? Resignation is accepting things with no hope of correction or forward movement. It’s a type of surrender, giving up and enduring with no solutions in sight. It is a veiled type of hopelessness that brings along with it depression, anxiety, resentment, and regret. When we continue to resist in our lives, there is a loss of vitality, anger, isolation, apathy, and a feeling of separation from the source. There is a bleakness to life, a barrenness of despair. We put on a good mask, perform our roles, paint a prozac smile, and grin and bear it. The smile is on your face but not in your eyes.
There are always solutions; they are only found in the unknown, in the darkness, without GPS or signposts. You must venture into the unknown. It’s so scary, and a HUGE price must be paid. You must give up your old beliefs, stories, and narratives that validate what you don’t want. Think of a flashlight beam. The beam represents everything you know. The solution to your issues lies beyond the known, outside the beam. To venture outside of the beam is the hero’s journey that most will not embark on. Nobody can pay this price for you.
Miracle Training
One of the joys of my life is seeing graduates of MT sit in the seats of training experiences and re-live (or at least attempt to put into words) the events that created the miracle. No, they don’t know everything, but they are not afraid of walking the path of greatness. It’s called transformation, not some mythical enlightenment you will never achieve. Everyone can transform, although it takes effort and time. Transformed individuals make all kinds of mistakes, dust themselves off, and move forward. A recent graduate was spit on by an angry person who was set off by his putting a flyer on his car. This angry person flew into a rage in front of his spouse and kids. The recent grad could tell from the expressions on his family’s faces that they had seen this before, and it probably happened to them personally. My heart ached for this guy. The shame and humiliation of being spit on, and yet he will look back on this form of painful initiation for the rest of his days. My eyes filled with tears as this grad took it (talk about turning the other cheek) and moved forward.
All kinds of emotions flooded this MT graduate, yet he cleaned the spit off his face and continued handing out flyers. Detectives (supposedly) attempt to dissuade him from putting flyers on windshields. He is in no danger. They use social conditioning, bluffing, bullying, shame, or guilt. He continues to do what people he doesn’t even know are resisting. They wouldn’t do it. They don’t want it as bad as he does. He is a re-born 23-year-old who hustles to stay alive. Love is truth in action. He is a sight to be seen, having a second chance in life that is unrecognized by most (family and friends) and seen only by the few.
DCME Confidential
Question 1: I get such anxiety when it comes time for my DCMEs to re-up. I feel like I will be dumped, just like in the dating game. What gives?
Answer: Unworthiness and inadequacy come to mind. What great relationship do you enjoy that you want to have less of?
Question 2: I spent 4 hours with my DCME outside the office. Does this sound excessive?
Answer: You have a family. One trap waiting for you is thinking that spending more time is the answer. Less is better.
Marley
