The Well-Meaning Spouse

You and your spouse are in bed and should have fallen asleep by this time. Just as you start to finally relax your mind, there is a tap on your shoulder, followed by, “Can we talk?” That phrase snakes over to you in an ominous tone and you try to brush it off by saying, “Can it wait until the morning? I’m sleeping.” Your spouse is persistent and says, “No, it can’t.”

So, you turn over to face each other and then for the umpteenth time they disclose that they want to talk to you about your slumping practice. You’re crushed. It feels like you’re getting a lecture from your mom or dad. Even though you’ve had this conversation before, it starts to take a different path. Your spouse says, “How about you get your real estate license? Or work part-time at that community college? You could teach an anatomy class!” Your heart sinks as they continue, “Have you thought of maybe waitressing, or Ubering? You know, just so we have some money coming in. Your office has been bleeding the family funds dry for far too long.” Blow after blow, you feel like your spouse is attacking your ability to practice and your ability to be an effective parent.

It’s so frustrating. You’re doing something you love to do but it just doesn’t perform economically like it should. You feel so guilty. You may respond with annoyance, with anger, or even take it silently as you smolder, but deep down inside you know something has to be done.  In a sense, you know that they are right in that you need to start making more money, but you just cannot do it via their suggestions. You want to increase your income WITHIN your office, you just don’t know how.


Sometimes the thing that you love can actually be a constant source of frustration, resentment, and even anger. These below the line emotions are felt because of the outside pressures of running your household, your office, providing for your family, and even your marriage.


This dirty little secret is more prevalent than you know. Everyone thinks they are the only one going through this. You are not alone.


Some DCs attempt to solve this type of problem by investing in more academic education, such as certification, advanced techniques, pediatric degrees, etc. It is certainly exciting and fascinating to learn new things, but that doesn’t necessarily parlay into economics.


With some practices, it actually has an inverse effect of adding more debt and the practice doesn’t change or, worse yet, it declines.


Some erstwhile seekers of the solution think that by working at a “regular” job with an hourly rate, it will solve the economic problem. IT CAN’T!  It sounds logical and sensible, but it just keeps you right where you are, instead of getting you to where you want to be.


One of our TNR members used her husband as her practice advisor. He was a CPA and he thought he knew everything about running a Chiropractic office because he does tax forms for people. Fortunately for their marriage, she read a TNR perspective on this type of dynamic. She fired her husband as her practice advisor, (they were hemorrhaging over $6,000 a month with his guidance), and instead invested in an “expert” that balanced the ship.  After a while, his ego and pride settled and he realized that her firing him was the best thing they’ve ever done. It saved their marriage.


Spouses can’t coach each other, as it is not the function of the relationship. This extends to well-meaning parents and in-laws as well. Everyone loves to give free advice and opinions about everything, even when they don’t really know what they’re talking about. They’re genuinely trying to help, but the reality of it is that they aren’t helping. They are giving advice about something they have never experienced or overcome.


Some DCs put the white flag up and have hobby style practices that barely cover their expenses, credit card debt, and loans. Nobody really went through the expense, time and effort of Chiropractic college just to pay bills, even though it’s a lie some are living.


Why should you endure through a lack of income, marital woes, and family troubles? Has it ever occurred to you that with guidance you can do anything?  Practicing Chiropractic is supposed to be fun and profitable, while making a positive difference in so many lives.


There are answers to your practice woes. The problem is that you are too close to the circumstances to have an objective viewpoint. When your practice is looked at with fresh eyes, the solution becomes very apparent!


You know your problems and challenges all too well. If you’ve truly had enough of not receiving from Chiropractic then fill out the new practice profile and let’s talk it over. It’s hard to have a passion for something that’s not giving back!